she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dicks are not precious.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
