We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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