dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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