I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No subtext here. People are naked.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
