Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
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Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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