I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
