Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
