You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
