went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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