It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize