Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my vag is so smooth its legendary
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
