Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
