I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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