I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize