Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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