You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize