I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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