OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
