i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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