I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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