Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.