So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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