Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?

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(212): yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT? http://tfl.nu/zjw1

Replies (28) Good night (617) Bad night (1943)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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(312): Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job http://tfl.nu/iix6

Replies (27) Good night (4984) Bad night (585)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home

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(919): Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home http://tfl.nu/42nr

Replies (59) Good night (2562) Bad night (475)
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(631): View more from New York

After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

(1-631): View more from New York

that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

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(631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l

Replies (28) Good night (1143) Bad night (6014)
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(205): View more from Alabama

She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

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(205): She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go http://tfl.nu/6usw

Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (1900)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing

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(812): Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing http://tfl.nu/c12t

Replies (6) Good night (1285) Bad night (667)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

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(843): There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac. (843): I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary. http://tfl.nu/0c6s

Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (465)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot

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(336): I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot http://tfl.nu/utnt

Replies (6) Good night (1847) Bad night (571)
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(949): View more from California

did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?

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(949): did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass? http://tfl.nu/5kuh

Replies (9) Good night (885) Bad night (458)
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(408): View more from California

We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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(408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi

Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (289)
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(312): View more from Illinois

The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have

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(312): The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have http://tfl.nu/kcpe

Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (409)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.

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(850): I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute. http://tfl.nu/idmm

Replies (2) Good night (1158) Bad night (265)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.

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(503): I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress. http://tfl.nu/qmrb

Replies (6) Good night (302) Bad night (1053)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.

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(202): Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that. http://tfl.nu/gtv9

Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (198)
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(913): View more from Kansas

She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.

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(913): She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor. http://tfl.nu/4jux

Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (160)

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