Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Everclear isn't food dammit
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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