i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
