goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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