Im at strip club and am horny
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
