Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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