I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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