even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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