i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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