yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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