Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
