I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He shit in the fireplace
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
