I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize