i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
