Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize