you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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