Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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