remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
