I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize