How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
