It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize