Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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