I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
