dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
