none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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