there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize