I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
