ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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