my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When are your genitals available?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
