Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
