Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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