it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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