How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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