i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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