They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
